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What’s your New Year’s resolution?

Hand drawing a game strategy with white chalk on a blackboard.

I hope you had a wonderful (and restful) holiday weekend! After a few days off, things will begin to get back into a routine soon. But, before they do, this is the perfect time to put together a 2016 New Year’s game plan.

What resolutions will you make this year? In 2015, Nielsen reported the top ten New Year’s resolutions were:

  1. Stay fit and healthy
  2. Lose weight
  3. Enjoy life to the fullest
  4. Spend less, save more
  5. Spend more time with family and friends
  6. Get organized
  7. Will not make any resolutions
  8. Learn something new
  9. Travel more
  10. Read more

One thing that can influence many of these resolutions is career success. When you’re happier at your job, you tend to enjoy life more. When things are going well at work, it’s also easier to save — and often, to travel and spend time with loved ones.

But, when work is out of balance, everything can really be out of whack. In fact, a psychologist recently revealed to me that the majority of her patients often report the source of their unhappiness and stress to be work related.

If you can relate, it might be time to re-evaluate your 2016 plan. What are the things you don’t like about your current situation? What do you like? And, what would you like to change?

Begin to reflect on how various factors like money, vacation, and stress play into your priorities. What you may find is that your priorities shift over time. What was important ten years ago may no longer be important today.

Based on what’s important to you, begin to develop a list of steps you can take to pursue a different career. And, whatever you do, the list should not begin with “apply online.” Sadly, one of the biggest misconceptions about finding the perfect job is that applying online is an effective way to find a job. Don’t get me wrong, lightening does strike once in a while. But, it’s not something to count on.

Your plan should include:

  1. Look for opportunities to join networking organizations
  2. Perfect your elevator pitch
  3. Identify other types of jobs of interest
  4. Research companies you want to target
  5. Introduce yourself to people you don’t know — who have interesting careers or work at companies of interest

And, most of all, put the fear of failure out of your mind. So often, when we’ve gotten a new job, it’s been because a hiring manager contacted us. It’s less frequent that we are proactively in charge of our careers. And, therefore, the rejection we may face when venturing out can be tough at first. Just know that it’s very normal to get a number of nos before you get a yes. This happens to even the best candidates.

But, if you can be resilient and continue to push yourself, you will find that your resolutions will result in a very different (and happier) 2016.

I hope these tips have helped you. Visit CopelandCoaching.com to find more tips to improve your job search. If I can be of assistance to you, don’t hesitate to reach out to me here.

Also, be sure to subscribe to my Copeland Coaching Podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher where I discuss career advice every Tuesday! If you’ve already heard the podcast and enjoy it, please consider leaving a review in Apple Podcasts or Stitcher.

Happy hunting!

Angela Copeland
@CopelandCoach

The lies we tell ourselves

Businessman or employee holding showing card with text I hate my job

Yesterday, I was listening to a podcast with a famous host who was reflecting back on life. I don’t remember all of the details, but there was one particular thing that stuck out.

The host talked about working hard on her stellar career for years, chasing dreams and taking risks. She had done it because it was what she was supposed to do. It paid well and she lived a comfortable life. But, underneath it all, she wasn’t actually happy. She convinced herself that what she was doing was right and ignored any signs to the contrary.

Eventually, she woke up from the fog and began to take things in a new direction. What she really wanted in life and her original dream no longer aligned.

As those types of transitions typically are, it was difficult for her. She had to stop and think about what she really wanted, and that was scary. She worried about what other people thought of her. For a long time, she wished she could have her life back the way it was. Back before she thought about what it was she wanted.

In the long run though, she was happy she made a choice to update her path and ultimately to find the place she was meant to be.

Her story made an impression on me. Many of the people I work with have similar experiences.

So often, someone will ask me, “What industry do you specialize in?” They’re trying to get a better understanding of my coaching practice. They want to know if I only work with sales people or IT folks or in a particular sector, such as healthcare.

Interestingly, the answer really is that I typically work with people who want to find something different. And, they don’t always know what different looks like – at least not yet. They had a moment like the podcast host where they realized they weren’t happy — and they got determined to fix it.

Finding a new direction in life can be one of the scariest things we do from a career perspective. We often lose our old identity as “manager” or “director” or whatever our fancy title was. The status we have earned over the years hangs in the balance.

Often, we even have to take a pretty significant pay cut. Starting can involve starting at the bottom. And, of course colleagues, relatives, and friends are quick to make judgements — and to tell you about them.

The other thing that’s tough is that figuring out what exactly it is you want (after so many years of ignoring yourself). It takes time. Many people expect a quick fix. You know, they want to have things to be figured out in a month or two. In reality, it’s not unusual for this sort of transition to take a year or two.

I can only imagine that this is a similar feeling to getting a divorce. A number of my married friends romanticize about what it would be like to be single right now. But, when you talk to those who are single, you realize that it’s not as fun as it looks.

In the end, the most important thing is the practice of listening to yourself. The sooner you pay attention to what it is you really want, the sooner you’ll figure things out. Continuing to push these thoughts out of your mind only makes a transition harder later.

I hope these tips have helped you. Visit CopelandCoaching.com to find more tips to improve your job search. If I can be of assistance to you, don’t hesitate to reach out to me here.

Also, be sure to subscribe to my Copeland Coaching Podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher where I discuss career advice every Tuesday! If you’ve already heard the podcast and enjoy it, please consider leaving a review in Apple Podcasts or Stitcher.

Happy hunting!

Angela Copeland
@CopelandCoach

Holiday Party Dos and Dont’s

Mixed group in business meeting

It’s that time of year again. The time of year when we make ourselves look really good, or really bad, at the holiday office party.

Given the big impact of your image on career success, I wanted to share a few tips with you.

Holiday Party Dos and Don’ts

  1. Don’t stay home – So often, office holiday parties can cause stress and anxiety. This is normal and you’re probably not the only one feeling this way. But, what’s the worst thing that could really happen if you go? Not going typically has a far greater consequence as you’ll miss out on teambuilding time with coworkers, and facetime with your boss.
  2. Select your guest with care – If you’re going to bring a plus one, be sure it’s someone you trust. You don’t want your guest making a scene that you have to clean up later. And, even if the person is just a friend, realize that you will probably get questions afterward about whether or not you’re dating. It’s typically acceptable to go without a guest, so if you can’t find someone reliable, consider going solo.
  3. Dress appropriately – Just because it’s a holiday party doesn’t mean anyone should dress like they’re going to a nightclub. These are still the colleagues that you’ll be working with again the very next day. Stay away from clothes that are too tight, low cut, or short.
  4. Keep drinking in moderation – Many people find that when they drink, they cross boundaries they wouldn’t normally cross. Whether those boundaries are things they’d say or things they’d do, they aren’t good to cross – especially with colleagues. Keep drinking to 1 drink per hour, max.
  5. Don’t drink and drive – If you can’t drive home, don’t. There are just too many services like Uber and Lyft available to take you home when you can’t otherwise drive. Even a $100 cab ride is much, much cheaper than a DUI and a lost job.
  6. Do not get cozy with coworkers – The company holiday party is not the time to get physical with your colleagues. It’s probably never a good idea, but definitely not at the holiday party.
  7. Be conscious of what you order – Very often, holiday parties happen at a restaurant where you’re able to select your own meal and drinks. Although you want to order something you like, follow the lead of your host when deciding on what price point is appropriate. In all likelihood, it will not be appropriate to order the most expensive steak and the most expensive bottle of wine.
  8. Don’t gossip – Although it can be tempting, try to keep the office gossip to a minimum. Focus on what’s really important.
  9. Keep your manners in check – Office parties are the perfect time to be on your best behavior when it comes to table manners and party etiquette. It is rarely the time to let loose and forget all boundaries.
  10. Don’t take up swearing – Hands down, this is one of my personal pet peeves. The work holiday party is not the time to get liquored up and take up swearing for the first time. I recently witnessed this at a restaurant. A woman had too much to drink and was trying to hang with her male coworkers on many levels, including loud swearing. As a bystander witnessing the exchange, I wanted nothing more than to pull her aside and explain to her that her coworkers do not respect her anymore because of her behavior. They most likely respected her less. Be the same you that you are at work each day.
  11. Thank your hosts – Sometimes, holiday parties can be a drag. You have to find childcare and it feels like an obligation. But, keep in mind that your host went out of their way in planning this special event. Take the time to say thank you.
  12. Have fun – Perhaps the most important DO for a holiday office party is to have fun. Take the time to get to know your coworkers a little more. Get some facetime with your boss. Take advantage of this opportunity that comes just once a year.

Keeping your family at bay over the holidays

Whole Homemade Thanksgiving Turkey with All the Sides

The holidays can be stressful, even under the best circumstances. I recently received a question from a reader about the best way to navigate family over the holidays when the topic turns to your career.

There are a few different scenarios that may cause your relatives to ask questions during your next holiday gathering.

  1. You just got a new job
  2. You received a promotion at your current job
  3. You’ve left your job to start a business
  4. You’ve left your job to go to graduate school
  5. You were fired from your job
  6. Your company just had a massive layoff that impacted you and you are now unemployed
  7. Your company just had a massive layoff that did not cause you to lose your job, but has still impacted you indirectly
  8. Your company has been in the news for something negative
  9. Someone in your family needs a job and they’re hoping you’ll hire them

These situations all have the potential to be awkward for one reason or another.

For example, one family member may know more than others. You might not have shared with others because you don’t want them to know all the detail, or because you haven’t had time. Either way, it could cause those in the dark to be offended if the family member who knows brings the topic up.

Sometimes, family members try to ask you questions about your workplace that are considered confidential, or that you’d rather not share.

Other times, they may ask you things that are highly personal. One such question is, “Why were you fired from your job? What happened?”

Another is about a new job. It’s a little nuts to think about, but some family members will actually ask you how much money you’re making at your new job. Isn’t that just crazy?

There’s one thing that all of these examples have in common. They are full of people who aren’t respecting your boundaries.

It may not be on purpose, and may be with good intensions. But, these family members are crossing lines they shouldn’t be crossing. The question really becomes, how do you deal with them effectively?

At the end of the day, you want to handle things in the best way possible. Here are a few tips to help you to survive the holidays when your career is in flux.

  1. Limit your visit – If things seems like they’re going to be stressful, limit the amount of time you’ll be spending with family. Communicate your arrival and departure dates in advance, so there are no surprises.
  2. Consider staying in a hotel – It may sound strange, but one of the best ways you can manage holiday stress is by staying at a hotel when you travel. Although staying with family is less expensive financially, it can also increase your stress level when you can’t get away. Having a hotel to escape to can help to reduce stress and improve your sleep while traveling.
  3. Do your homework – If there’s certain information you don’t want everyone to know, but one relative does already know, consider calling that person ahead of time. It will give you a chance to communicate in advance and keep any accidental slips from happening.
  4. Try not to take things personally – Realize that there’s a good chance your relatives are asking you about your job because it’s the only thing they know about that’s going on in your life right now. They could be trying to make conversation, but don’t know what else to ask about.
  5. Set boundaries – Don’t be afraid to tell someone, “I’m really not comfortable to talk about that right now.” Or, “I’d love to talk about this with you – another time.” At the end of the day, your story is yours and yours alone. If you don’t feel comfortable answering questions, you don’t have to.
  6. Create a diversion – Quickly change the subject from your career to some other, more neutral topic. Travel, sports, and food are all safe bets.
  7. Keep your drinking to a minimum – This is always a good idea. But, really – how many times have you heard a story about crazy drama that starts with drinking? Pretty often, right? If you know you’re going to be in a potentially challenging situation, protect yourself by keeping your drinking in check.

Before I end this week’s newsletter, I’d like to revisit the idea of salary. Sometimes, relatives can really go too far. If someone were to ask you how much you make at your new job, you could consider something simple like, “I’m not comfortable to share that.” Or, you could be a little more subtle and say something like, “It’s such a great opportunity. I’m really happy how everything turned out.” Or, “They gave me an offer I couldn’t refuse.” There’s really no right answer to this question. At the end of the day, if someone asks you how much you make, they have crossed a boundary. It’s absolutely acceptable not to answer, or to answer in any way that you’d like to.

Remember, your story is yours. You own it; you control it. You don’t have to share anything you don’t want to. And, chances are good that at least one relative is going to cross a boundary. You can’t change them, but you can certainly choose what to share. And, you can prepare yourself in advance.

Are you really thankful this week?

iStock_000015164671_Large-small

Are you really thankful this week?

I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving week with your loved ones!

As I sat down to write today’s newsletter, I struggled a bit. On the week of Thanksgiving, the obvious topic is about being thankful.

So much of what we accomplish in our careers and in our life is tied to the generosity of others. And, taking the time to thank those people gives us a good feeling inside – and it ensures they want to be helpful to us again in the future. It strengthens our bonds.

This is a fact.

But, the flip side of this coin is feeling underappreciated.

In the past few weeks, I’ve randomly spoken with a number of people who are in a negative situation at their workplace.

It almost feels like a bad relationship. The kind where you wish your friend would break up with their partner, but they just keep going back, no matter how bad things get. It seems they’re always thinking that things will change and get better “if only…”

One of the most important things about at work is feeling appreciated. It can make even an awful workload seem okay. In fact, feeling underappreciated is the number one reason people leave.

We sometimes feel underappreciated because our boss never says thank you. Other times, it’s because we aren’t paid fairly and feel a financial strain at home. Or, we don’t have enough vacation days to visit our family often as we’d like.

To drive the point home, many people would be willing to take less money in salary if they felt more appreciated at work. It sounds crazy on the surface, but how much would you give up to feel a little more appreciated, happy, and purposeful every day? If you could have your dream job, I bet you would. Happiness is worth something to you.

In fact, employees who complain about money are more often than not actually feeling undervalued in some other way.

Don’t get me wrong. We should all be thankful for having a job. We should be thankful for the good things other people are doing for us.

But, sometimes you don’t feel truly thankful. If you genuinely feel taken advantage of, it’s time to listen to yourself.

Things may change. Anything it possible. But, the reality is, the likelihood of change in your current environment is small.

A great way to change how you’re feeling at work is to change where you work. But, when you do find a new job, be careful not to recreate the negative situation you have now.

And, this brings me to my next point. When you’re chasing after your big job offer, don’t make a decision just based on the money. Or the awesome vacation. Or even the distance from your home.

Those things are all important. But, what’s even more important is fit.

Fit’s a hard thing to measure. And, even harder to figure out in the few measly hours you spend interviewing with a company.

The first thing to keep in mind is that interviewing, much like dating, is a two way street. When is the last time you went on a first date and just wished that this stranger might be willing to marry you? I hope never! In the same way, it is as important that you like a company (and especially the hiring manager) as that they like you.

When you go on interviews, listen to yourself. Think about how you feel about the people you meet. Think about how the company treated you. Did they follow through on what they said they’d do? Did the offer look the way you were expecting it to?

Once you find the environment that’s right for you, you’ll no longer spend your days wishing for the “if only.” You’ll start to be truly thankful for those around you. You’ll want to give back and say thanks – on more than just Thanksgiving.

I hope you have a wonderful and restful Thanksgiving holiday! Take a little time to take care of you.

I hope these tips have helped you. Visit CopelandCoaching.com to find more tips to improve your job search. If I can be of assistance to you, don’t hesitate to reach out to me here.

Also, be sure to subscribe to my Copeland Coaching Podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher where I discuss career advice every Tuesday! If you’ve already heard the podcast and enjoy it, please consider leaving a review in Apple Podcasts or Stitcher.

Salute To Our Veterans

Salute To Our Veterans

First, I’d like to say thank you to all of our military veterans, and active duty military. With Veterans Day coming up on Wednesday, it’s important to take a moment to highlight this special group of people. I feel thankful to live in a country where men and women volunteer to put themselves in harm’s way for the greater good.

But, the sacrifice of the veteran doesn’t end when they leave the military. Transitioning back into the civilian corporate working world is a very difficult process for most veterans. Like most people, I was relatively unaware of this issue before starting my business.

Over the past two years, I’ve had the opportunity to both work with military veterans in my coaching practice, and to interview military veterans for my podcast. I’ve learned a great deal from these folks that has given me a much broader perspective on life after the military.

Some of the common struggles military veterans face when transitioning into the civilian workforce include:

  • Having great experience on their resume that doesn’t translate well to the corporate hiring manager
  • Feeling the hiring manager may be negatively biased towards veterans
  • Not having a professional network that expands beyond the military
  • Limited experience applying for or interviewing for jobs
  • Difficulty finding a position that will pay enough to support the same quality of life
  • Not enough professional support provided to assist with these issues while making the transition

Many of these struggles are common for job seekers from all industries, but they can be especially challenging for veterans. From what has been shared with me from those who have actually lived it, the experience reminds me a bit of leaving an impressive job with a great title that everyone respects – and then transitioning into a brand new field and industry where you have no prior experience, no connections, and you don’t really know how the whole game is played. It’s like everyone is speaking a foreign language. And, in a way, you’ve lost your own identity.

You spent years honing your political prowess and leadership skills, but those rules don’t apply anymore. You’ve got to start from scratch – and quickly – to be able to maintain the quality of life for you and your family. It’s scary, stressful, and definitely not the way it was described when you were still in the military.

If you, or someone you love is facing these issues, here are a few tips to help out:

  • Start networking – Focus the largest part of your job search on networking. When you apply online, it’s rare that any person will actually see your resume. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t apply online. But, it means that you should put a significant focus on the offline world.
  • Get a LinkedIn account – This is important. It will help you with networking, and it will help you to locate hiring managers. LinkedIn really is important. Don’t skip it.
  • Ask for help with you resume – Find a career coach, or a friend who can help. Ask someone with no military experience to read your resume. Find out if they understand what you did. Take their feedback into consideration.
  • Be open to feedback – The process of finding a job completely changed when Monster.com launched in 1999. If you’ve been in the military for a number of years, finding a job is a totally different world than you probably remember. Be willing to listen to feedback and try things outside of your comfort zone. It may be uncomfortable, but it will pay off in the end.
  • Reach out to other veterans – There are many veterans out there who successfully made the transition, and can empathize with the difficult process. Reach out to them for support and assistance during your search.
  • Know that it’s a numbers game – You will not, I repeat, will not get an interview for every job you apply for. You will also not, I repeat, also not get an offer for every interview you have. This is true for everyone. Applying for a job has become a bit of a numbers game. Expect it. It will help to give you realistic expectations.
  • Give yourself a break – Remember, finding a job is a job. And, given the state of our economy and number of other factors, transitioning into your dream corporate job is probably not going to be a fast process. But, don’t stop trying. Don’t assume something is wrong with you. Keep knocking on doors and one will eventually open.

Tomorrow, I’m going to rebroadcast a previous episode of the Copeland Coaching Podcast. It’s an interview I did over the summer with Eric Gates when I visited Austin, Texas. Eric is a Minister at Central Christian Church now, but he is also a veteran. After the military, he spent time working as a police officer. And, he knows first-hand just how hard the transition can be. He shared his experience very candidly with me. It was such an informative and honest episode that I wanted to share it with you again, in honor of Veterans Day. I hope you will enjoy it!

THANK YOU again to our active military and all of the veterans who have made personal sacrifices for everyone!

I hope these tips have helped you. Visit CopelandCoaching.com to find more tips to improve your job search. If I can be of assistance to you, don’t hesitate to reach out to me here.

Also, be sure to subscribe to my Copeland Coaching Podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher where I discuss career advice every Tuesday! If you’ve already heard the podcast and enjoy it, please consider leaving a review in Apple Podcasts or Stitcher.